In the Waiting

I was recently asked about the season where you want to be married, yet you're still waiting to discover who God has for you. I was asked if there was something they could do while in the waiting. A practical application of being a wife and mother.

It got me thinking, and now this post is the start of some practical applications of your waiting season.

I graduated high school at 17-years-old and didn't feel the need to go to college. I told my parents that I wanted to be a wife and mom--college didn't have a course for that---and they agreed to give some time to verify I didn't want to go to college. (I did later attend college😆)

However, my parents sat me down to help me set a vision for the future. I was working as a waitress and figured I'd just do that until I got married. I thought for sure I would be married by the time I was 19, so it would all work out.

My parents didn't diminish my dreams, and instead found a way to help encourage me to have a vision for my dream. My parents told me they wanted me to ask young moms from church if I could come over and help them. I had specific instructions to ask if I could help anywhere from 2-4 hours, that I couldn't accept any money for doing it, and to do any task assigned to me. There were two sentences my dad said that have stuck with me over the years.

The first one being: "The way we run our home isn't the only way to do it. You'll see some things you'll want to continue in your own home and some that you won't. Pay attention to what you want your own home to look like as you watch these other wives and mothers."

The second was: "We're asking you to go serve willingly at any task with no reward given for it. As a wife and mother, you often serve with no reward."

At the time I very begrudgingly went to do as they asked. I was willing to go work for free, but it was weird to ask people if I could come over and help do chores. Thankfully, the young moms were simply happy to have the help and didn't think it as odd as I did. 😉 I went and served as my parents asked. I cleaned bathrooms, deep cleaned refrigerators, played with young kids, organized pantries, and scrubbed kitchen cupboards. I learned to love the times at the young mom's homes and gleaned a lot about what type of wife and mother I wanted to be. Not because my own mom hadn't taught me--she definitely had--but they were right in learning extra in that season of waiting.

Serving those moms wasn't about glamorous jobs or the amount of money I was making. Too many times we're taught that with work comes money. But as wife and mom, I'm not doing those job and getting paid. I didn't see it at the time, but I was being taught to pour in even when I didn't feel like it. To cheerfully serve on days I felt tired from being up late waitressing the night before. I learned how they ran their homes and the why behind some of what they did.

So, one piece of advice to you in the waiting is this. If you have the opportunity, go serve some young moms you know. Don't expect anything from them and instead show up ready to give them your best. Learn from them. Some teaching comes from it being caught and not taught. Watch how they handle certain attitudes from their kids. Pay attention to the details in how they run their home. What are things you like about it? What are some things you don't care for?

One mom had me go grocery shopping with them. She went to several stores and I ended up asking why she didn't just go to one store, wasn't it easier with her kids to just get it all in one place? She agreed that it would be easier, but because of their budget she would check the flyers each week for what was on sale. Then she would plan her meals around what was on sale and go to various stores to find the on sale items. She tried to only go to the store once every week (if that) and had an envelope of money with her grocery budget in it. She explained that she brought only that envelope in with her because it forced her to only spend what they had. No swiping a card or spending a bit extra. In fact, it became a personal challenge to her to have some extra each week!

That ended up being the very tactic I used in the first few years of marriage. Our budget was incredibly tight and there was no wiggle room for extras. I remember one week coming home with five extra dollars and felt like Wonder Woman because I could buy one of Jarrod's favorite snacks with it the following week.

All to say, you never know what you could glean and end up using in your own home, even if it's just for a season!

~Where can you willingly serve for no compensation this month?