One Way We're Raising Kids To Thrive As Adults

My son came home from work, washed his hands, and changed out of work clothes. Then I handed him his little sister to watch for a bit.

Why?

I wasn't being mean, I'm simply training him beyond this moment. See, we live in a world that tells you that the work ends when you get out of your workplace. Somehow, if you leave the house, work the hours you're assigned to, then you should be able to come home and relax. You're done for the day.

But is that how life really works?

Even if you live alone --no kids, no spouse, no roommate, no pets-- there's still work to be done. You likely will have to make yourself dinner. Perhaps you'll need to wash your work clothes. Maybe there are dishes sitting in your sink.

Checking out on your phone for the next however many hours isn't truly going to work. You might get lost in whatever social media is feeding you, but when your stomach sounds like a whale's mating call, you might decide you could have used that time better to cook something.

If you have a spouse or kids, the demand for work definitely doesn't end the moment you leave your workplace. Let me set the scene for that, okay?

You've had a long day at work. You dealt with immature people who want to take their grievances out on you. You had a boss pressing you for the completion of something. You had a co-worker out sick, so you took on extra work.

But, finally, you're done for the day. You get into your car, turn the music on, and zone out as you drive home. It's quiet and peaceful as you decompress from your day.

Thirty minutes later you enter your home. You expected the same peace walking in--but you're met with the busyness that dinner time produces.

Dinner is being made by your spouse, pots are simmering and something smells delicious. The toddler is clinging to their leg, making it difficult for them to effectively prepare dinner, although they're still working on it. The younger kids are full of energy and you hear them arguing over something even as your spouse calls out for them to play nicely together. Another child is finishing up school work, asking questions to your spouse as they cook.

You have a choice to make. Are you the person who decides they did their part and check out for the rest of the day? Or are you the person that will say "We're in this together" and simply join the spouse to finish the day?

It comes down to a heart issue doesn't it? The selfishness and entitlement that you "deserve" a break? But can I ask you a question? Where were you taught that? It likely started when you were a child. You saw it happening and it was something that caught.

I want our children to serve willingly. To see that until both people can sit down, the workday isn't completed. You are in it together.

I want our children to see that just because you came home tired, that doesn't mean the other person isn't equally tired. It doesn't mean you get a break while they continue to work. In fact, your drive home gave you a bit of a reprieve. You should be ready to go!

I want our children to walk in with the knowledge that leaving the house doesn't mean you're entitled to a break when you get home.

Sometimes you might receive a break. But sometimes you need to jump in wherever we're living life.

Now, I'm not saying always go, go, go. There are times for much needed rest. But are you resting together, or are you the only one getting that break away from the busyness?

I'll leave you with this. Who do you want to be? Who do you want to raise your children to be?